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Ali Lohan is trying to start an acting career just like her big sister Lindsay. In her haste to get on the silver screen and fund her mother’s gin addiction, Ali attended a casting call for porn director Peter Davy. Granted, he’s getting ready to shoot a mainstream horror film that doesn′t make the situation any less sad and hilarious. TMZ reports:

Ali Lohan’s rep tells us the girl had no idea that Peter Davy was behind such classics as “Breast Wishes 14″ and “Bun Busters 12.” Sources tell us the meeting was actually set up by Ali’s agent.

Dina Lohan is, of course, feigning outrage for the press, but behind closed doors, it’s a different story: “Ali, I know you′re your own person, but Lindsay - God, I miss that little coke mule - would’ve lied about her age and knocked out the rent for mommy. I′m just sayin’.”

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A recent Snickers commercial starring Mr. T that aired in the UK was pulled after complaints from the United States that the ad was offensive to homosexuals. It hadn’t even aired here in the States, but it featured Mr. T firing a Gatling gun full of Snickers at a speedwalker. The Human Rights Campaign surprisingly interpreted this as “homophobic” instead of “totally fucking awesome.” Mars, the maker of Snickers, caved, but not before basically insulting America’s lack of a sense of a humor. The Daily Mail reports:

A spokesman for Mars said: ‘This ad is the second in a series of UK Snickers ads featuring Mr T, which are meant to be fun and have been positively received in the UK.
‘However, we understand that humour is highly subjective, and it is never our intention to cause offence. Accordingly, we have pulled the Mr T speedwalker ad globally.’

I’m pretty liberal, and even I think this is some bull to the shit. First off, Mr. T mounting a machine gun on a pickup is as American as apple pie made with bald eagle crust. Second, the ad’s not homophobic. It simply warns people of all walks of life about the lameness of speedwalking while simultaneously promoting the firearm capabilities of chocolate-covered peanuts and nougat. In fact, I’m sure gay men will love it because, at the end, Mr. T professes his love of nuts.

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